sometimes I start to think about the old days back in elementary (wow its been a while). I remember when I first met you, you didn't mean anything to me. you were just another on of the dozens of people I had seen on the first day of 4th grade. i didn't think anything about you. not that you were pretty cute or tall (compared to me). I remember little things like when we were comparing languages in after school and we all said something in a different language, you said something in Thai and me in Japanese. I remember when you complemented me on how straight I could draw a line. you were barely an acquaintance at the time.
Then in 6th grade, 2 years later.we had some classes together. I sat next to you and we would talk. you joked around and I laughed really hard. after a while I started to like you and I let you know. "WHAT? WHAT WHAT WHAT?" that's what you said. you were sooo surprised, I would have been to if I were you. then you started dating. then you dated my best friend. then everyone went crazy. I wanted to be a part of it sooo much. Be a part of the group, it looked like a lot of fun but I just never fit in, did I? I started to worry. I didn't want anyone to make any foolish mistakes. I wanted to make sure everyone made a good decision. what I wanted was to be there as a friend for you to help you and to give you advise( I still do). people started to get careless.
7th grade I felt like things have gotten better. I feel like everyone has calmed down quite a bit. but I always wished I could have gotten across to people when I tried to tell them what it really is when you date someone. once you actually told me that you had always been listening to me but you were to afraid to admit it. I hope that you remembered what I said. I feel like when you fall in love with someone, you mean it but..your too careless. you need to think more. just a bit...
sometimes I feel like there is a side to your that your not showing anyone..maybe you haven't even realized that part of you yet...yah your still one of "those" guys...(no offense)
I'm really sorry if I'm pissing you off. I found out about a lot more thing when I was little and understood it faster. I understood it before a lot of people did, which might be why my feelings are so strong but I don't think a lot of the people around me are ready for that and don't understand it enough (one of the reasons why I'm not dating)... I don't understand why it has to be like this and I just want to be your friend. someone you cant turn to when you need help so I don't get why we have to cut each other off completely from each other. I remember when you use to give me hugs and we use to hang out. we were cool with each other...
Basically...after all this time. and everything that has happened to us from the moment I saw you.. I never..ever...thought it would end up like this..ever... heck I didn't even think about it! I didn't even know you...I am glad though because we are moving on and now we are both smarter (kinda) and we have joked around in class together like normal friends... It's cool so I'm glad...dude if you ever somehow read this...please oh PLEASE don't think I'm a stalker(again).. It sounds mean saying I wasted my time chasing after you...but its kinda true.. A little to young and stupid...srry /:) ......um...just saying.. a lot of people who knew I liked you said we would look cute together...yah I doubt its ever gonna happen but....hmm...weird...I dont know...never mind....I'm gonna go...
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