I actually just wrote this but for some reason it didn't save and now I have to re-write the beginning of but in short.. There are so many people I never thought I would get to know as well as I do now and become as close of friends as am with them now. I love all my friends so much and its the best being with them... there are still some people that I haven't been able to fix my relationship with though and I have decided not to linger on it anymore even though its still saddening and I wish it were different...
There is this guy who is really nice, and every seventh hour (the only hour I have with him) he gives me a hug and I get to talk to him and its fun. I think I really like him too... recently he took the time to find out a little bit more about me. he asked why I don't go up and perform or present any of my projects so I told him about my anxiety. I told him about how it prevented me from doing a lot of thing I wanted to and he asked what they were.. I felt very happy because I could fully and clearly tell someone a little bit about how I feel without it just being me blabbering and running out of breathe trying to get people to get it.. I feel like I got to say it calmly and clearly which took a lot of pressure of my mind... He makes me feel safe.. I don't really like him anymore.. but I felt like he understood it...Everyone kept on bitching at me about liking him. like he was actually a jerk or he spoke without thinking kinda stuff. I didn't really care...I don't really want to date anyway. lots of school relationships don't last so I feel like its better to wait until I know I have a chance of having a long term relationship with someone....I'm thinking to wait till college..can I do it?....maybe...I am confident but I don't think alot of guys like me... I have a good personality but it either attracts people or scares them away (yah..GREAT personality)...Either way..I'm looking forward to the future...I think..not sure..(kinda scared)...(but exited!)
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